Shillard's Rant

Why TV was invented.

2007-02-11T18:31:00.000-08:00

It doesn't get much better than this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRGmAXRptz4&mode=related&search=

Bono: Wanker

2007-01-18T18:51:00.000-08:00

What part of that don't you understand? Do I really need to elaborate?

And what's with the sunglasses - are they to block the sunlight that shines out of his stupid Mick arse?

Piss off back to the bog, Paddy. You have no place in the civilised world. Make sure you go home in your zero-emission private Jet, the same kind used by Al Gore.

Bono shits me even more than Mac-worshipping Volvo drivers.

High Priest of Geeks

2007-01-18T18:49:00.000-08:00

If those two Epsilons B'Stard and Goatherder were upset by my last entry, they'll be shitting bricks over this:

http://www.picobay.com/projects/index.html

I want one for Christmas.

Amiga: Pagan Sex Magik Under A Full Moon

2007-01-15T19:50:00.000-08:00

It Lives!

After a decade of piss-farting around with awful Windoze machines, I dusted off and fired up my real computer, which looks something like this:

Yes, a real pre-emptive multi-tasking operating system, capable of running in less than 1Mb of RAM. After a frenzied acquisition of vital components, the old girl was upgraded to the latest & greatest:

200Mhz PPC Processor
50Mhz 68060 Processor
146Mb of RAM
750Mb IDE Hard Drive (installed in 1995 at GREAT cost!)
70Gb SCSI-II Wide Hard Drive
CD/DVD Combo Drive (getting tight inside that case!)
X-Surf III Network card with a USB clockport expansion
Picasso IV 96 24-bit graphics card with Adrienne soundcard & flicker-fixer, driving a nifty TFT monitor.

If you don't know shit about Amigas, that won't mean shit to you. All you need to know is that when Macs were black & white with postage-stamp screens, and PCs ran DOOM in 64 colours and went "beep", the Amiga could calculate an FTL jump from Caprica to Earth while giving you a blowjob, composing an opera more Masonic than "The Magic Flute", and making out with its good-looking best friend while you watched - with the Octopus.

If you do know your shit, you've probably just soiled yourself in excitement. With a whole lot less fuss than was required to connect to FidoNet using 3 software packages (Term, Spot & Trapdoor) via a Meastro 14.4k modem many moons ago, I got it up and running with my home broadband account in around 10 minutes. Glory be to the Miama TCP/IP stack. Mind you, this machine was browsing the web using Lynx back in 1995...

Just downloaded this gracious innovation - http://www.ibrowse-dev.net/

Now THAT is a browser.

I've just out-geeked the Goatherder. I rule.

Al Gore: Liar, plain stupid, or both?

2006-09-15T03:15:00.000-07:00

An unexpectedly cool reception for Presidential wannabe Al Gore, here to promote his global warming doomsday movie in a very cold September....

Is it just coincidence that in the very year Gore's film is released warning of imminent warming, that we should experience some of the coldest days on record?

2006 will be remembered as the year Perth recorded its lowest temperature since European settlement, Adelaide had its coldest June ever, Forbes had its lowest temperatures for 133 years, and Melbourne recorded its lowest May since 1970.

By no means is the rejection of the Gore hypothesis limited to Australia - June in Rotorua was the coldest in 42 years, in Anchorage the coldest in 24 years, and in the French Alps for 50 years.

A lot of hot air accompanies Al Gore, but that has little to do with fossil fuel consumption, greenhouse gasses or environmental devestation. Check out these Gore classics:

"A zebra does not change its spots." - Al Gore, attacking President George Bush in 1992.

"I certainly learned a great deal from 3,000 town hall meetings across my home state of Tennessee over a 16-year period" in Congress, the vice president told NPR’s Bob Edwards. Do the math. That’s 187 town hall meetings per year, or a meeting in Tennessee every other day for 16 years, including weekends, holidays, vacations, and time spent running for president in 1988 and for vice president in 1992.

Finding himself talking to the controversial rock star Courtney Love at a Hollywood party, Mr. Gore attempted to charm her by telling her he was a fan. Rather than just accepting the easy compliment, Love cross-examined him."He goes 'I'm a really big fan'," said Love. "And I was like 'Yeah, right. Name a song, Al'." The answer came limply back: "I can't name a song, I'm just a really big fan." Mr. Gore and his wife, Tipper, were the driving forces behind the campaign to make record companies put stickers on records that contained lyrics with sexually explicit content.

And this really takes the cake:
"During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet" Gore said when asked to cite accomplishments that separate him from another Democratic presidential hopeful, former Sen. Bill Bradley of New Jersey, during an interview with Wolf Blitzer on CNN on March 9, 1999.

Australians might think they are saddled with a bunch of bullshit artists in politics, but what we have is peanuts compared to the likes of Gore.

Edit 16/01/07: Bono sucks arse, too.

Operation Lizard-Man

2006-06-09T03:17:00.000-07:00

Newcastle has experienced a flurry of Lizard-Man activity of late, with mentions popping up all over the place. A recent letter to the Editor of The Newcastle Herald mentioned "Lizard People from Atlantis" - the author's identity remains, of course, a mystery.

Yesterday the Federal Member was promoting awareness of the reptilian illuminati conspiracy. A flyer was set in a tray outside Sharon Grierson's office that alerted the citizenry to the reptilian threat. Under the heading "Neo-Cons are Lizard Men!" comrade Grierson wrote of the true identites of George Bush, Tony Blair, John Howard and Peter Costello - Lizard Men from Atlantis who are working to enslave the brave proletariat of our fair nation. It even featured this rare picture of Dick Cheney, removing his human disguise to reveal his true nature at a Lodge meeting.

Maybe David Icke - www.davidicke.com - should have a go at leading the Australian Labor Party. If they had every crackpot who believes in Lizard Men voting for them, their Federal share of first preferences would just about double.

Stop the Gun Grabbers!

2006-04-27T02:20:00.000-07:00

UPDATE: Poll results were 68% AGAINST a ban on handguns.

Roland Brown, head of the 'Coalition for Gun Control' (no website, no phonebook entry - bit of a coalition of one, I suspect - rather like the very pedestrian Harold Scruby's Pedestrian Council) is calling for a ban on semi-automatic handguns. Our softcock Prime Minister will undoubtedly jump at the opportunity. You see, Howard 'loathes guns' - but he's quite prepared to send young Australian men & women overseas to use them in anger. Even to use them against themselves (more on that later).

Brown, an ambulance chaser, cites the Dunblane massacre as a great reason to ban handguns - and hasn't that ban worked out well for the poms?

Judge for yourself:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2003/01/10/ngun10.xml

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/1440764.stm

http://www.crimeinfo.org.uk/servlet/factsheetservlet?command=viewfactsheet&factsheetid=102&category=factsheets

http://www.criminal-information-agency.com/firearms/gun_crime.htm

I think you get the idea. Brown sure isn't a rocket scientist......the poms were cheering their handgun bans five years ago, four years ago, three years ago....now they cower behind sandbags and wear body armour while going about their daily business. That's progress.

Naturally, the mental defectives @ 'A Current Affair' have a poll on the issue. Call now and outvote the untermenschen who will undoubtedly clamour for evil inanimate objects to be 'banned'.

(Number deleted, poll closed) - to vote NO to a national handgun ban.

I'd like to see Brown and his mates - Howard, Chapman (the fool who was publicly fisted - details in the very first entry on this blog), Peters, Alpers, Laws, etc placed in the stocks in Martin Place, and pelted with copies of John R Lott's tome More Guns, Less Crime. To be pelted in the face until dead.

Damn, where's Justice Roddy Meagher when you need him?

Keep LEFT unless overtaking - how hard can it be?

2006-04-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

Australian Road Rules dictate that, where the speed limit exceeds 80km/h, all vehicles must keep left unless overtaking.

From the image above, this clearly comes as a surprise to the untermenschen who clog up the F3 Freeway in the mistaken belief that 'left' is actually 'middle', and that they are doing the right thing by cruising in the centre of 3 lanes.

Wrong, morons. You should be glad that the Nazis lost WWII, because as sure as shit they would have gassed your useless mentally defective ancestors into oblivion, spareing us the burden of your existence and sub-standard driving.

From page 93 of the NSW Road User's Handbook:
'Once on the motorway, stay in the left lane unless overtaking. If there are three lanes and the left lane has many vehicles travelling at a slower speed than you, stay in the middle lane. After you have passed them you should return to the left lane.'

How simple does it have to be? I'd say a lot simpler.

It's way past time we gave summary execution powers to NSW Highway Patrol officers. Some moron clogging up the freeway traffic by sitting in the centre or right lane? Piece of piss - pull them over, out of the car, apply Glock 22 to the back of the neck and pull the trigger. For the price of a single .40 calibre round, the NSW Police could rid their fair State of a mindless road pest. They could even auction the car off and put the proceeds back into building more motorways.

Money well spent, I'd say. Hell, I'll put my money where my mouth is and supply the ammunition. Who said charity is dead?

Next: How we can deal with those other morons - wankers who can't work out what the 'fog' part of 'fog lamp' means.

AWB Scandal - Girly Men Rife Once More

2006-03-14T21:04:00.000-08:00

What's all this crap about bribes paid by the AWB?

Does anybody other than Beazo, that slinking femocrat Barto the Boozer, and the ABC-Fairfax-SBS collective mind give a rat's arse? I doubt it.

The thing that really shits me is the lack of balls at the top. If Howard had a pair, he'd come clean and state clearly:

"Listen up, scumbags. If you want these corrupt monkeys to buy your wheat, you're going to have to bribe somebody. And I'm not talking the sort of bribe that gets you out of a drug trafficking charge in Bali - I mean serious cash. You got a problem with that? Tell it to the farmers who face reposession orders because they couldn't find a buyer for their wheat. Suck on that - next week Mark Vaile is going to go buy some business in Russia with a suitcase full of Ipods and Sass & Bide jeans. Wankers."

Alas, there will be no such display of honesty and manliness, because Howard doesn't have a pair. Lucky for him, this non-scandal is being drowned out by the ALP implosion and the Empire Games taking place in Melburg.

I really envy those dudes working for the AWB in Iraq - picking up massive commissions for bribing corrupt third-world middle-men, and getting to play with AH-64s. Bastards.

Ever wanted to be a Veritech Pilot?

2006-02-14T02:00:00.000-08:00

Just like Max Sterling, only even nerdier.

Ever wanted to be a Veritech Pilot? Veritechs are way cool - almost as cool as Colonial Vipers, but far deadlier. You can play this simple but effective 'Asteroids' rip-off here:

http://lewismoten.blogspot.com/2005/03/veritech-ace.html

I picked Max Sterling because, unlike Rick Hunter he:

Could fly his way out of a paper bag.
Pulled a hot chick.
Had a mullet, but wasn't a bogan.
Wasn't shooting blanks. He knocked up the Zentradi Ace Myria in no time, while Rick was still playing Humbert Humbert to Minmei's Lolita. Then Rick became a MILF-hunter and scored with the disturbingly sexy Lisa Hayes. Weird dude - Max was way more normal.

Don't even bother posting a comment if you're some kind of beard-wearing single fat anime nutter who wears black all day, hangs out at Games Workshop stores and hasn't had a girlfriend since Year 5. I don't want to hear about how ROBOTECH was a rip-off of the Japanese MACROSS series - and neither does anybody else.

Get back to your Hentai pages, weirdos.

Lego: Approved by the Shillard institute of right-thinking manly men. So say we all.

2006-01-28T05:21:00.000-08:00

Lee Adama: Nancy-boy Viper Pilot.

Where was the 'Battlestar Galactica' Lego when I was a kid? Come to think of it, where was the 'Star Wars' Lego when I was a kid?

Combining stuff like Galactica and Lego for kids would be like, well, combining Galactica and Lego for adults. Or at least like combining crew-served weapons and lesbian porn.

My child had better be into Lego, or they'll be making their own toys out of Lego boxes while I build cool aerospace fighters out of small plastic interlocking bricks. Lego is about as manly as you can get - you can even make manly things like guns, BBQs, Colonial Vipers, lesbian porn and small plastic effigies of socialist criminals like Gough Whitlam that you can disfigure with a Zippo lighter.

My cat digs the new Galactica, he gets all excited when they push Vipers into the launch tubes because he knows that they are about to be flung into space to kick some cylon arse. Instead of a new stuffed mouse toy for Christmas, I think I'll get him some lego.

Geoff Gallop: Girly-Man

2006-01-21T19:43:00.000-08:00

Geoff Gallop - 'I've lost my balls'.

Former WA Premier Geoff Gallop recently chucked the towel in because he is 'suffering' from depression.....

'Depression' in adult males is code for "My testicles have shrunk right up to my Adams Apple, and I haven't the bottle to cope with normal life on Earth."

Check this:

"It is my difficult duty to inform you today that I am currently being treated for depression.
Living with depression is a very debilitating experience, which affects different people in different ways.
It has certainly affected many aspects of my life. So much so, that I sought expert help last week.
My doctors advised me that with treatment, time and rest this illness is very curable."

What a nonce.

Depression is one of the ultimate self-indulgent exercises for modern humans. Proof-positive that people can programme their brains to think anyway they like (sort of like metacognition, but without the improved learning aspect).

In the 1980s society evolved a pre-emptive measure to cut depression in adults. It was called 'Fade to Black' by Metallica, and teenage losers who feared growing up to be like Geoff Gallop listened to it over and over, then capped themselves by the thousands. Sadly, the rise of hip-hop and rap removed any eugenic properties from popular music.

Depression is not an "illness". Outline the pathology of 'depression' in 500 words or less - be sure to note how it is transmitted, its incubation period, etc. Good luck.

Depression is self-indulgent bullshit that serves the interest of pissweak Westerners. No wonder the Islamofascists laugh at us.

'Oh boo-hoo, I'm so depressed, I'm Premier of WA and I get to suckle on the teat of the taxpayer. Ooooooh, I've started wetting the bed again.' What self-respecting male would carry on like that in the privacy of his own home - much less call a media conference to announce to the planet that he is an emasculated sook?

Just kill yourself and be done with it, Gallop. You're a disgrace. At least if you die your drain on the taxpayer will come to an end - useless girly-man parasite.

Be sure to cut ALONG the veins, Geoff. Don't take any notes from John Brogden.

What a wanker.

Gun-Grabber Drops Ball, Gets Fisted

2005-12-22T16:19:00.000-08:00

I'm pretty proud (justifiably or otherwise) of most letters that I get published in newspapers, but I doff my hat to Dr Don Weatherburn, Director of the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics.

Check out this exchange that occured in the pages of the Socialist Morning Herald:

Excerpt from the article that started it all:
'Gun ownership is rising and there is no definitive evidence that a decade of restrictive firearms laws has done anything to reduce weapon-related crime, according to NSW's top criminal statistician.
The latest figures show a renaissance in firearm ownership in the state - a 25 per cent increase in three years. And the head of the Bureau of Crime Statistics and Research, Don Weatherburn, said falls in armed robberies and abductions in NSW in the past few years had more to do with the heroin drought and good policing than firearms legislation.
Even falls in the homicide rate, which have been steady, began long before the gun law debate provoked by the Port Arthur massacre in 1996.
There has been a drop in firearm-related crime, particularly in homicide, but it began long before the new laws and has continued on afterwards. I don't think anyone really understands why. A lot of people assume that the tougher laws did it, but I would need more specific, convincing evidence …'

This obviously put the wind up one Professor Simon Chapman, notorious liar and gun-control maniac, who responded via the letters page:
'Don Weatherburn's scepticism that Australia's Port Arthur gun laws
have had "any effect" ("Gun laws fall short in war on crime", October
29-30) will henceforth be cited by every gun-lusting lobby group
throughout the world in their perverse efforts to stall reforms that
could save thousands of lives.
Yes, gun deaths were falling before Port Arthur, but they have
continued downward. There were 521 gun deaths in Australia 1996, and
290 in 2003, a 44 per cent fall, despite population growth. A key
platform of the 1996 gun laws was to remove from under the nation's
beds semi-automatic rifles capable of killing many people quickly.
Since the Port Arthur massacre in 1996, there has been not one mass
shooting incident (four or more deaths) in Australia. In the nine
years before Port Arthur, there were 10 such incidents such as
Strathfield, Hoddle and Queen streets, with 66 deaths, the majority
caused by citizens with no criminal record. With one in 12 NSW adults
now owning a gun, could we have the latest data on how many guns used
by criminals are stolen from law-abiding citizens' homes?'

The Don's response must go down as the most worthy intellectual fisting ever delivered in the public arena. Check out this:
'It may come as a surprise to Simon Chapman (Letters,
October 31) but, like him, I too strongly supported the introduction
of tougher gun laws after the Port Arthur massacre.
The fact is, however, that the introduction of those laws did not result
in any acceleration of the downward trend in gun homicide. They may have
reduced the risk of mass shootings but we cannot be sure because no one
has done the rigorous statistical work required to verify this
possibility.
It is always unpleasant to acknowledge facts that are inconsistent with
your own point of view. But I thought that was what distinguished science
from popular prejudice.'

Cop that.

Weatherburn is a man of integrity who has the stones to stand up and say "I was wrong, the evidence is there for all to see."

Chapman is typical of the emasculated fools posing as intellectuals in the modern West. Check out his CV - which includes a list of published letters written to newspapers. I reckon Don Weatherburn should imitate that model.

http://tobacco.health.usyd.edu.au/site/supersite/contact/docs/chapman.htm